My Apology

Did you ever do the wrong thing and run with it adamantly because you thought you were right?  I had this experience a few days ago and now I must apologize to several people who are all very important to me.  These people are the members of my pack and I hope that I can rectify some the damage caused by offering a sincere apology and an explanation.

You see, sometimes, we try to protect the people we care about from all threats, whether real or created.  This is the trap that I fell into because I saw some things that I considered evidence without getting the rest of the details or going any deeper.  The members of my pack are special to me and, when I perceive one of them is threatened, I react to protect them. 

Joe

In this particular case, I accused another member of our pack of doing something that he did not do based on faulty evidence and I adamantly stuck by that accusal to the point that it caused severe damage to the dynamic of the whole pack.  Now that I know the rest of the story, I am truly sorry and hope one day that you will understand my actions and forgive me.

Yes, I was dogmatic but please understand it was because I was trying to protect the others out of love.  Just as you would have done in my shoes.  In some ways, we are very similar, my friend, and, at times, that can be a very volatile mixture to work with.   We both love her very much.  That doesn't mean I want to take her from you or that I would ever give up what I have.  That means we both want what is best for her and to protect her.  She is a part of both of us.

She is with you and she is happy.  That is all I ever wanted for her.  When I saw the things I did, I misunderstood where they were coming from and thought her happiness was threatened.  So, I reacted to protect that happiness before I got the full story and I am sorry.  I know right now you probably won't even read this but some day you may and you might understand my perspective as well.

Giana

I am sorry to you because I didn't put enough trust in your judgement.  I meant well but as the saying goes the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I was trying to do the right thing and, being so focused on that objective, I went horribly astray of the mark.  I hope that you as well can forgive me and understand that the things I did came from the heart.

Lucille

The poor lady I have put through hell the last few days as I ranted and raved.  I'm sorry to have added stress to your life and, to be honest, I don't know why you put up with me but I'm glad you do.  I love you very much, even when I crawl up into my walls and hide from the world.  I don't shut you out because I don't care.  I do it to protect you from the monsters inside my own head.

My Children

Marc, Travis and Loree, you are the most important members of my pack.  I would do anything to protect each of you.  I love you so much and I will always defend you from anything, just as the other adults in this pack will.  You are the reason we are all connected and you will remain the thing that ties us together no matter what else will come.

My Warrant Against The Jehovah's Witness Cult

This is my warrant... I'm hereby swearing out a warrant for the destruction of the Jehovah's Witness cult. The cult, it's governing body in New York and it's false god, Jehovah, must be destroyed. The Charges: * Destroying families through abuse and shunning. * Destroying lives by hiding child molesters, abusers and rapists. * Aiding and abbetting child molesters as evidenced through their own elders manual, Shepherding the Flock of God, and the court documents from the Candace Conti case. * Willfully promoting a lack of education among their membership to keep the common members in the dark to their mental slavery. * Slanderously ruining the reputation of former members and blocking them from fellowship with their family and loved ones through a shunning practice known as disfellowshipping. * Creating false prophecies of end time occurrences and using these to create a false sense of urgency among members to keep control. This cult must be destroyed at all costs. Myself and others like me have suffered these indignities long enough.

Want an insight into who I am?

I posted this image just this morning. Then I went to lunch with my girlfriend at McDonalds. Guess who was there? My father and his fellow cult members. My own father wouldn't even say hello to me. Want to know why I don't trust people? Try spending your life losing everyone who ever says they love you, having everyone walk away. Then tell me about your trust issues. #FuckTheJehovahsWitnessCult

It's all about perspective...

Let's talk about respect

For today's post, I want to share a few thoughts about respect.  We all want it.  Most people demand it.  Few show it.

As the attached picture points out, you have to earn respect.  It's definitely not just a given.  That said, here's a few things that I respect in people:  Honesty, Loyalty and Creativity.  Show me those three qualities (hell even two of the three) and you have earned my respect.

Inversely, once I lose respect for someone, it's real hard to get that back.  Things that can cause me to lose respect for someone?  Lying to me, stabbing me or someone I care about in the back, being unethical and poor decision making skills.

Once I lose respect for a person I can barely tolerate their presence.  If it's an employer or client, I have to start looking for a new job because I cannot work for someone I don't respect or someone who doesn't respect my professional skills.

How about you?  What are your thoughts on respect and how does it affect your life and relationships?  Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Until next time, this is just my life, honestly.

Supporting those who need it

A worthy cause is always worth being promoted and the one I am sharing here today definitely falls in that category.

My friend, Dena, and her son, Kato, have recently become homeless due to situations beyond their control.  She's a fellow ex Jehovah's Witness like myself so she's already got a few strikes against her in the support team department.  Let's show this young lady and her son that there are good people in the world who care about them.

Please visit her gofundme cause and show your support.
 
Until next time, this is just my life, honestly.

I don't know...

I really don't know what I did to piss everyone off today. I'm just trying to do my best and be everything everyone wants but I'm just one person. In trying to be dad and boyfriend and friend and it's not fucking working because everyone is mad at me.

I'm sorry. Sorry I'm not capable of being everywhere at once. Sorry I cannot be perfect. Sorry I cannot read minds or change time. Sorry that I'm just me, the same fuck up that I've always been.